My brother Julian recently suggested that we, the four siblings, write down our memories of Christmas growing up. This is my version.
Then
Then and now, the Christmas season always started in late November, with the first Advent, on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. An ‘Adventskranz’ (Advent wreath) with four candles would have a permanent place on our kitchen table during this time and every Sunday one more candle would be lit until all four were burning on the last Sunday before Christmas. Next, on December 1. the Advent calendar would go into action. My Mom filled 24 small cloth bags with goodies, mostly sweets, and hung them on the banisters of the stairs in our house. The four of us would take turns opening the little bags every day until Christmas Eve; 24 bags, four kids, 6 bags each. Then on December 6th, St Nikolaus came to collect our ‘Wunschzettel’. A nicely cleaned pair of boots would be left outside each bedroom door on the evening of December 5th and we’d roll up our list of wishes, stick them in the boot and when we'd wake up the next morning, the list would be gone and more goodies left in its place. Sweets, fruit, and maybe some nuts.
Outside the house, I remember the famous Christmas markets, of course! Even tourists come from far and wide to visit Germany during this season. On more than one occasion a person I encountered in the US has recalled their fond memories of the magical atmosphere during the time leading up to Christmas in Germany. The dark winter evenings are lit up with lights in the streets, and town and city market squares are filled with dozens of stalls selling Christmas gifts. The aroma of mulled wine fills the air and the many special baked goods that only come out for Christmas, like Christmasstollen or Gingerbread, are available everywhere. This Christmassy atmosphere that extends beyond people's living rooms and front yards is probably what I miss the most about Christmas in Germany, or even other parts of Europe.
Finally, there would be the moment that it’s all been leading up to - Christmas Eve or Holy Evening (Heiligabend). That’s the day the tree would go up in the house. In the early years, my parents would decorate it behind closed doors and we were only let into the room when the ‘Christkind’ had rung the little bell on the tree. Later, the decorating of the tree became more of a family affair with my brothers and sister all helping to decorate. My father would stand back and observe. He would frequently comment, somewhat sarcastically, but maybe with a kernel of truth, that he really wished that one of these years we could put some ‘Lametta’ on the tree, which are thin metallic strips of shiny tinsel foil. I am pretty sure one year we bought some as a joke and added a few strands to the tree. Most of the decorations however were of muted and subtle colors and not too glittery and shiny, and most importantly, real candles were put on the tree! Other checkpoints of the day were the attendance of a church service, and the obligatory potato salad and Wiener Würstchen (Vienna Sausages - not too dissimilar from hot dogs). In later years I would request a Polish sausage or two for myself (known in Poland and the US as ‘Kielbasa’), which I much preferred to the Wiener. On the first or second day after Christmas, my Mom would often make a fancier dinner, but Christmas Eve was busy enough, and so she kept dinner simple and convenient. After all the preparations and stops of the day were complete, we would gather around the tree and my father would read a few Christmas stories. Then the presents would be distributed and opened.
With six people, you can imagine, there were always a lot of presents, things we asked for from St. Claus and then so much more. Playmobil, Lego, a dollhouse, a race car track, and train track, books, socks, a new scarf or hat, new gym shoes, a laptop, the list goes on … I certainly can’t remember it all now. There was also, always, the obligatory board game or two the playing of which would occupy much of the next few days after Christmas.
On the first day after Christmas, referred to as 1. Weihnachtsfeiertag (first Christmas holiday) in Germany (Christmas Day in the US, Boxing Day in the UK, St. Stephen’s Day in Ireland), we’d all get together for a special Christmas breakfast, and often my Mom might cook a more elaborate meal with several courses for dinner. I have vague memories of eating rabbit once, and maybe venison another time, but my memory could be skewed.
After that, the Christmas atmosphere would slowly fade. The Christmas markets in town disappeared and eventually the Christmas tree in the house too, maybe after a week or so? The final holiday, Heilig Drei Koenig (The Three Holy Kings), on January 6th, on which the story of three holy kings who visited the new child with presents is commemorated, was very much an afterthought, that would get little acknowledgment. At that point, everyone had recovered from the explosive celebrations of Sylvester (New Year's Eve) and the new year was firmly on its way.
My records show that in 1987 we spent Christmas by the Baltic Sea at our holiday home in Langholz. I may have had very fond memories of that Christmas, or maybe it's because to this day I just really like that spot in the far north of Germany, but over the years I would often suggest that we spend Christmas there again some time. We did so in 2003.
2006 was the first Christmas I did not spend in Germany with my family. I was living on Cape Cod at the time and my brother David was living in Detroit, which is where I visited him. He, his girlfriend at the time, and I drove to Niagara Falls, where we spent Christmas in a Hotel.
Now
It is safe to say, that our Christmas traditions have shifted a bit from those I experienced growing up. Now, Christmas still starts in November, right after Thanksgiving. Now, this is when the tree goes up. I have only a couple of times managed to actually have a real tree, which is still my preference, but I am ok to make a fake tree work, so long as it isn’t trying to be a real tree. There are no real candles on it either and I am ok with that too. I actually really like the fact that I can leave the lights on all day. I like that it creates a nice atmosphere, without having to worry about the fire hazard. The reason I like to put the tree up so early is that there just isn’t that same ‘magical’ atmosphere outside the house, that I like so much about Christmas. There is no Christmas market, and while there are some lights and decorated trees around town, it just doesn’t seem to be enough to create that same feeling. So the tree and the rest of the decorations go up shortly after Thanksgiving.
We always have an advent calendar or two for Kara, and I have tried to recreate the St. Nikolaus tradition with the boots outside Klara’s bedroom door, but that only worked when she was very young. Now, instead, she has a little metal mailbox that sits under or near the tree and she puts her letter to Santa in there on the night of the 5th and Santa will pick it up and maybe leave some goodies under the tree at the same time.
We do not have an ‘Adventskranz' now, this tradition has, for now, been on hold. We also don’t go to church, and we don’t read Christmas stories. We also don’t get our presents on Christmas Eve. The usual tradition has been to go to the house of Klara’s grandparents for dinner on Christmas Eve, and it is always a very delicious meal, often with extended family and friends. The next morning we will get up and do what the majority of American households, that celebrate Christmas, will do that day - we roll out of bed and tumble down the stairs to see what Santa brought for gifts during the night. Then we make some pancakes for breakfast and spend the day enjoying our presents. This is the part I like about giving presents in the morning as opposed to the evening, we don’t fall into bed exhausted after a busy day not being able to enjoy the presents after unwrapping them, instead we get them in the morning and are still awake enough to enjoy them. If we get lucky there’ll be another delicious dinner at John and Rosa’s house at the end of Christmas Day. And sometimes that dinner will involve the rolling of Sushi, which I wrote about before (see here).
The tree will stay up until January 6th, as a nod to the parts of the world, like Spain, where kids don’t get the majority of their presents until that day - after all that is when the new baby got his gifts from the three holy kings. Then it all gets packed up until 10.5 months later.
Whatever your traditions, we hope you have a very Merry Christmas this year!